The one and the only and the best and the first

Why is it so important in this world to be the best, to be the first? OK, I do understand how this concept can have certain motivating attributes in sports, but apart from that, why are we so damn obsessed by comparing ourselves with others and competing with them? Trying to overtake them, in literally every aspect of our lives, on the small as well as on the big scale.

To me the weirdest application of this competitiveness is in realms of personal growth, psychology, psychotherapy, spirituality… Aren’t those the places where the main goal is actually to grow over such childish attachments? Yet wherever I look I see the psycho-spiritual-championships. The best yoga. The oldest meditation technique. The only correct interpretation of ancient scripts. The most enlightened gurus. Are you kidding me? What kind of rubbish is this?

A couple of years back I got, after about 20 years, in contact again with an old acquaintance, a spiritual leader of some kind. Upon my question about how he was he responded that he had just created the fastest technique to get enlightened (takes about 5 minutes or so) and that he was the first individual on the planet to use such powerful methods. Now, this person is over 60 and one would expect a slightly higher level of emotional maturity at this age. My motivation for communication died instantaneously.

A month or so ago another acquaintance dropped by – he just completed his training for a certain psychotherapy. Do I need to say that this was, of course, the best psychotherapeutic method in the world, the only effective? Now, just how much psychotherapy does a psychotherapist like this one need in order to grow out of such childish concepts? Probably approximately as much as any religious fanatic claiming – and even fighting, killing to prove it – that his or her God is the best and the only.

Well, at least I know I can add one more life learning to my list: never go to the one and the only and the best therapist, counsellor, adviser, trainer, teacher, guru… No, thank you. However, my trust will always tend to go to people who see themselves as merely possessing one narrow slice of the cake, a small piece of the big picture, modestly offering it to others to try it out and see if it works for them. Knowing that their little piece is no better than any other piece.

And the best ones; I believe they need a lot of help themselves. With one additional problem – they can never get help from the best one since they are already occupying this golden position.