My body has been degenerating rapidly for the last couple of years. Not enough rest, not enough exercise, too much junk food.
I like to play with the idea that I just HAVE to work all the time and so, what can I do, poor me, sacrificing my own body to provide for others. Than after a deep breath I come to my senses and realize that it is all within my power of choice; to re-arrange my schedule, re-focus my life, take care of my needs…
And than I make the fatal decision, a statement that always begins with the word TOMORROW… Well, you know the rest of the story, don’t you?
Now, the ultimate blow for my dear ego is when I realize that I would actually be able to carry out most of my plans about how to put my body back in a healthy shape, if I had somebody bossing me into it. A trainer. A coach. A boss. A sergeant. A merciless master.
And I can witness this principle twice a week, when I go for my swimming training with my sadistic coach: this guy always manages to squeeze about six times as much out of me as I am able to do when swimming on my own. I always plan to kill him during the training hour but than feel very grateful and all of that when the thing is over.
So perhaps it is not that my body has been degenerating, but rather my mind. Hm, please do not tell anybody that I am a psychologist, a coach and all of that.
I am leaving now for another Zen seshin. Yet another chance to work on my relationship with my mind. Hm.
OK, OK, I admit, this is not me. But but but, I swim ALMOST like him, really, believe me…
Interesting. Chris also pushes himself, physically, to the limit. Not that I am saying he’s old (because he’s NOT), but he is 36 and it’s time to slow down. We just had a come-to-Jesus meeting about where I told him that if he was always pushing himself, he wasn’t giving himself enough ‘mental’ energy to accomplish the things he’s always wanted to do.
He is basically working two full-time jobs, plus a part-time job and he is…EXHAUSTED. It breaks my heart to see it.
Comment by persistentillusion — June 11, 2008 @ 5:52 pm
Lol nutter! Your secret is safe with me! Swimming is WAY better than running…
P.S. It’s called old age
Comment by SanityFound — June 12, 2008 @ 9:36 pm
Now, Sanity, I guess you need, just the same as Anne-Claire ( http://robertkrzisnik.wordpress.com/2008/05/13/a-nice-guy/ ), a brief intro into the nonviolent communication. You can use this lesson any time you want, free of charge: you never ever never ever mention the old-age-concept when talking to a 42-year old man in a mid-life crisis. Never ever! It can have fatal consequences. It is very violent indeed. But what you do say are things like that: “no no, my friend, do not worry, you are great, this is just a temporary thing, you will be back in shape in no-time…”
Comment by Robert — June 15, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
Persistent, I guess Chris and I have a lot in common. It is really sad what we keep doing to ourselves… I see that I ALWAYS automatically value work as more important than rest. And since there is ALWAYS a lot of work to be done, I never rest. It’s guilt, over-responsibility, and sometimes plain stupidity…
And support from my wife helps a lot, really lot. It’s crucial, when she looks me in my eyes and says: “You need to rest. Now! Go rest! Nothing matters more than that…” And repeats this about a 100 times.
Comment by Robert — June 15, 2008 @ 7:42 pm