To be a real man

The amount of time that I spend in Greece each year seems to be increasing and just this year it will sum up to six weeks. This also means dramatically increased amount of time spent over a Greek frappe someplace in the shade, letting my thoughts carry me away. And, curiously, weird and diverse thoughts tend to originate or at least pass through my brain over numerous frappes here in Greece, from taking radical steps into the unknown, to intercultural theories or revelations of the secret of Greek men. I am starting to believe good old Greek philosophers drank a lot of frappe as well.

And, at 44, it appears I need to learn loads of things about manhood. While observing men in all these tavernas and ouzeries, I am learning how the real men behave, in general and towards women. Here are my scientific conclusions so far.

Behaviour of real men – in general

• Real men are serious. They don’t smile and laugh and talk laud. This is what boys do. Real men enter with a serious face, sit with a serious face and leave with a serious face. Think of Clint Eastwood.
• Real men have their gaze fixed somewhere in the distance. When you talk to them, they seem to perceive what you are saying and they give you eye contact now and then, but most of the time they gaze over there into the void, into the dark clouds, into the society… They see what other people cannot. They are aware of what a regular guy is not. And the burden of knowing, seeing, being aware of it all, is heavy. Perhaps this is the reason for serious faces.
• Real men are supportive and they allow everybody to feel good about themselves. They don’t ridicule, they don’t show off, they don’t try to win over you… This is what losers do. Real men don’t need this crap. Their self-confidence is absolute so there’s no need of doing this petty social masturbation. No way! On the contrary, they will graciously help you save your face, maintain your dignity, they will mentor and support you in becoming a real man too.
• Real men don’t play. Play is for children. They don’t swim, they don’t ride bicycles, they don’t run, they don’t do sports. They sit and master life. Sometimes they drive and occasionally they walk. Very slowly.

Behaviour of real men – towards women

• Real men listen to women. A lot! They know women need understanding, acceptance, respect, appreciation and they are happy to provide. So they listen, nod, acknowledge, agree, support. Sometimes they will even smile. Sometimes they will even take their sunglasses off while listening, to make a more obvious eye contact with their deep blue eyes.
• Real men look directly and clearly at women, with appreciation in their eyes. They don’t turn their gaze away, they don’t look secretly. This is what pussies do. Real man show their interest openly yet with dignity and respect. In their presence every woman feels like a goddess herself.
• Real men are fully aware of their own worth when approaching women. They don’t beg, they don’t try to impress. They come, they make an offer and they ride off into the sunset. This is what I learned in another country of real men, Montenegro. While most of us the confused Central Europeans will approach women with the attitude: “I like you, but the question is whether you like me,” the real man’s approach will be:“You like me, but the question is whether I like you”.