So many airports in the last two months that I can hardly remember them all. Yet, Helsinki airport stands out firmly – not only because everything is surrealistically peaceful and still there, but because what I have found there. You see, after the IAF Conference was completed and we were waiting for our plane, Marjeta found the book Smile or Die. I seriously doubt this book is displayed up front at many other airport in the world, because it is so against the popular new-age-spiritual-everything-is-perfect-positivistic-pop-psychological bestsellers. Finns, of course, love the darker aspects of life and hence the proudly displayed heretic piece. Anyway, it was such an enjoyable reading that I have finished it before the end of the day.
The book explores the tyranny of positive and optimistic approach of the USA and also some other Western countries. And it touches upon so many issues that I have been having on my mind for quite a while. Namely, in the discourse of this positive approach to life, just about everything has to be seen in positive way. Breaking a leg is way to get some rest. Losing a job is an opportunity! Getting a cancer is a gift! So everything has to be celebrated in this positive way.
Hm.
Does that apply to floods in Pakistan? Were they a gift? Are famines gift? Should people, whose family members have been killed, raped and slaughtered in wars and genocides in Afganistan, Darfur… see it all as an opportunity for growth? And just celebrate?
There really seems to be and more of the demand for the positive approach to everything. You just should be positive and yearn, positively, to be the best, the greatest… Now, researches show that this radically positivistic approach is likely to lead to depression. Because the pressure, the guilt and the feelings of being a failure starts piling up. Because if I am not totally rich and living this perfect life yet, if my cancer did not disappear…, it is just because I was not positive enough. I did not trust Life or God or whatever.
This demand of positivism is seen in the corporate environment often. The perfect team player is considered to be a totally positive person, smiling all the time, never complaining (no no no, only negative people do that!), happily obeying the big boss, agreeing always with the majority in the team… Otherwise they get the label of the negative person: “He’s really NOT a team player…!”
Which leads us to the rule number 2 of positivism (rule number 1 being that you must always be positive, of course). You see, our world consists of the positive (good) and the negative (very bad) people. And if you want the fullness of life you should remove yourself from the negative people, get rid of them (by the way, why not see the negative people through the positive glasses?). Not only you want to distance yourself from the negative people, but also from anything negative. Don’t read news about disasters, don’t think about millions of people in pain, don’t think about the hungry, sick, homeless… Deny it all and happily focus only on the positive, right?
Social and environmental issues do not disturb motivational speakers at motivating you (with shouting, clapping hands, jumping…) and teaching you to think positive and thus attract money, partners, happiness… Go to a dozen sessions like that, and then you will become a motivational speaker, sharing the wisdom and writing books about how to conquer life and be happy in three steps. In you motivational speeches and books you can either cite numerous true accounts from life of other motivational speakers (who are citing yet again other motivational speakers) or you can even start talking about quantum physics (very classy nowadays), even if true quantum physicists are screaming in agony: “This has nothing to do with the quantum psychics!!!” Who cares, just let the money roll.
This model of sharing the positivism runs extremely well in direct marketing networks – attract people with the tales about millions and Ferraris and yachts and then just keep them be positive, attracting many others into being positive too.
Does the above sound like a religion? Bingo! The religious preachers do it too! Just believe, positively, in God and sooner or later he (hey, why not she?) will reward you! Milan Kundera said that the optimism was the opium for people.
If not a religion, than it definitely sounds like an on-going self-hypnosis. And I would like to start shouting aloud: “Hey, it is OK to be sad. It is OK to feel frustrated, angry, disappointed, mourning, unhappy, regretful, it is OK…!” Because I believe all of this is also the manifestation of life. And I would like to experience the life fully, rather than walk around with the pink glasses glued to my nose.
I so much more prefer the real, authentic, alive you and me.
Is the need being expressed here for creative, honest grieving?
Is there a longing in what you wrote for a standing up for our authenticity as earth dwellers, not selling out our connection with mother earth for corporate inclusiveness and phoney courtesy? Is this a call for better care of the earth and ourselves vs. the depredations of consumerism and Domination Culture?
Among very positive “smiley” people who I know personally (about whom I might be tempted to feel irritated by) but who I actually feel a deep appreciation for, are those who honestly express sadness and longing when they feel it.
I sense a longing in your post for a rounded, heart-centred, need connected humanity that respects the creative path of individuals, supports the individual in “letting go” into that creative path and all aspects of their process (?)
Comment by giraffedancer — November 18, 2010 @ 3:09 am
Giraffedancer – thanks for this input. I guess it is a yearning for a shared reality, for facing the life as it is and not painting it pink… It is also a yearning for humbleness and modesty as values that I hold as so important, rather than just inflating our self-images… And also yearning for honesty, openness… and just simple and honest togetherness.
Comment by Robert — December 1, 2010 @ 10:44 pm