A little boy and a buffalo

It is not big news if I tell you I am not much of a photographer. Sometimes I like to think I am and I enjoy making shots of faces and of sunsets, yet most of the time it is a frustration. Which gets worse when I enviously look at my daughter’s photos or photos that my blogging mate Razzbuffnik keeps producing. Damn Aussie!

Anyway, there are weird things that tend to happen with the help of internet and the blogosphere. You see, 24 years back when in India for the first time, on my search for enlightenment, I had a National (that’s how Panasonic was called long ago, kids) point-and-shoot little camera and I did some shots here and there. For the needs of this blog I scanned some of them with our simple office scanner.

So, about a year ago a reader from Canada contacted me, asking me whether he could use the photo of the a little boy leading a big buffalo (I still remember I took that one in Mathura). I was rather surprised, never thinking one could use my photos for anything at all… Anyway, to cut the story short, he did some editing and art work with the photo and it has already been printed in Canada as a greeting card!

Just imagine! I find this rather crazy, funny and very, very enjoyable. It is amazing how the internet connects the world, across the space and through the time.

The boy is, I guess, about thirty now, the buffalo has long been reincarnated (perhaps into our bossy cat), and the world keeps spinning round and round.

Where has my world gone?

I feel pretty much lost in this modern world of virtuality, networks, multitasking… Old communication patterns dying away, new arising and my ability to even understand them, let alone use them, is a joke. The idea of blogging I understood and started to use it. The idea of Facebook I understood, got used to it and got involved. Cannot really say whether I am using it, but let’s say that Facebook is using me and I don’t feel any pain. Yet, this is to say. But Twitter? This one I don’t get – neither the thing, nor the idea behind it.

But things are evolving rapidly. While I thought e-mail was still a hip way of communication, widely in use, young people turn out to not use it much anymore. They say it is too slow. Our kids only open it once a week. So, if I want to send them something, Facebook it the way to do it. Very complicated for me.

And then I write a simple post on this blog. And some people comment here.  But some people send me their comments via e-mail. Other people comment my posts on Facebook. Some comment on BlogCatalog. Perhaps somebody is commenting this on Twitter too – how would I know, I never even saw the damn thing. And yeah, yeah, I know it is not a thing, it is something else, thank you.

So, I am lost. I write here, you answer there, he answers over on the other side, and she answers way down yonder… And everybody seems to be OK with that. While I just stare and try to see the brightness of the future. And all I see is the vanishing light.

This stuff is totally incompatible with my mind. Somebody over there is producing 100 new expressions, abbreviations and technologies per second and there is no way for me to adjust to this world. Suddenly not-knowing is not just as enjoyable as I thought it was.

So, yesterday I have spent two hours to put the RSS button (or whatever this is called) in the right up corner of this blog. Two hours! And I was at least twice on the edge of emotional breakdown during the process. Where has the world, in which it was possible to fix things with a hammer, pliers and a screwdriver, gone? When? How? Why? Give me back my world!

I just want to return to my cave, please.

How Lilly kept putting out the fire…

Came home from participating on an inspiring advanced training for group facilitators (after a week of leading trainings non-stop) and I felt drained. Not really ready to go to bed with my wife yet, and not sure what I had energy to do. Just sat there until the idea to light a late-night fire in the yard came to my mind. So for about an hour I just sat there, mending the fire, poking with a stick here and there, feeling how this magical energy-shift was taking place. Yes, there is something utterly magical about fire; it has this calming and cleansing effect on us, humans, doesn’t it? I find it sad to see how we are losing the touch with it.

Anyway, there I was and suddenly I got the idea that now I could spend some time checking out the blog of Lilly, a young blogger who commented on my last post. When reading her comment back then, I had a quick look at her blog and felt connected, and touched. So, now, with the fire burning in front of me and my laptop in my lap (where else?), I started to read her posts. And got totally carried away. In my memories, in thoughts, in feelings. And the fire died out.

So I spent some minutes in getting the fire going again, went back to Lilly’s blog and… found myself sitting in the dark and cold night, with the fire long gone. And I got it going…, only to let it die again…

I am not sure what it was, but it was one of these connections that happen and are not easy to explain. Was it that she is just about the age of my oldest son and that this gets my thoughts and emotions going? Or was it that she seems to be struggling with somewhat similar stuff as I was at her age? Or was it the honesty, purity and beautiful simplicity of her writing, that got through to me? Or was it something else?

The only thing I know is that it indeed was one of these connections, when you feel that you just in a way know somebody over there, although you don’t know anything about him or her, never met them and probably never will.

So, Lilly, just felt like letting you know that there was an old guy sitting by the fire in that chilly night, somewhere on the other side of the planet, tremendously enjoying your writing, feeling connected. And content. And happy.

Keep going, dear Lilly, keep breathing, writing, smiling… and going.

Monica, Angelina, Brad and George

OK, finally some time to catch my breath. I am not complaining over the speed of my life in the last few weeks, but I really started to desperately need somebody press the pause button:

• first there was a one-week NVC training in Greece. I can hear you going: “Oh, bastard, I hope he is not going to complain how hard THAT was”. No, absolutely not, I am not going to complain, since it was truly fulfilling, all this swimming in the ocean of genuine connection with myself and with people around me, discovering new worlds within and devouring the beautiful environment, human as well as just simply sun, sea and Greece around. But it was intense, nevertheless.
• immediately upon our return we both dived into a week of leading trainings every day, with loads of work that needed to be done in between.
• in addition to that my blogging mate from down under, Razz and his wife Engogirl dropped by and stayed with us during that week – which meant a lot of inspirational sharing, eating and drinking (Razz is a hell of a cook so I urge you to invite them to your home). He can also teach your kids about photography, his wife will teach them mathematics and engineering, they will do gardening…, what can I say, another cool guests to have in the house.
• in the midst of it all we needed to pack again and off we flew for a week in Norway, to give a nonviolent conflict resolution training (me) and an intercultural skills training (Marjeta) in this inspirational college where we like to go so much.

Anyway, here I am, in this wet and windy Norway, just back from a long run, feeling how my system is slowly calming down and getting ready to start with the workshop tomorrow, with blissful silence and serenity of nature all around.

And in this process of slowing down I sort of remembered that I am actually writing a blog and that it has been getting pretty dusty and rusty, with me not finding time to post things regularly. Which led me to recall how the other day Razz was sharing his weird experience with the flow of visits on his blog. And than this lead me to remember another blogger Hayden, who told me that her blog got enormous amounts of visitors when she once posted a photo of Monica Bellucci. You know, the search engines thing – people searching for naked photos of Monica…

And this thought got my dirty mind going.

In a weird direction.

Toward the dark side of the Force.

And out came a plan, a vicious plan indeed.

So, let me show you some photos. Firstly may I introduce you to the gorgeous and sexy yet not naked Monica Bellucci (notice how smart the wording in this sentence is?)

And here is the photo of equally gorgeous and sexy yet not naked Angelina Jolie.

To be attentive to the female population as well, here comes a photo of the handsome and sexy yet not naked Brad Pitt (I will never understand why some women tend to deny this that he is really cool)

And, last but not least, here comes handsome and sexy yet not naked George Clooney (some of you may remember I have a special connection with him, others will understand too if they only care to dig deep into the comments in this post of mine)

So, let’s see if this shakes the rust and dust off my blog. 

And for all those innocent souls that stepped right into my diabolic trap; this is a nice personal blog, you see, so why don’t you sit back and relax, have a cup of tea, feel at home and click around a bit. You may even find it enjoyable.

A short report

Gosh, almost a month since my last post. I have to give you guys a short report:

• my wounds and injuries are almost gone, I am feeling fine. Though I still don’t find the idea of getting back on my bicycle very attractive. I guess the bicycle will just have to rest over there in the corner for a while. And I still need to go and buy a new helmet – the best and the strongest one, that’s for sure.
• I have finished my working season and will lead no trainings and workshops for over a month, which is something that I really needed – a good long break from interacting with groups. In August I will do a two week conflict resolution and mediation process with young international group, over in the UK, but I don’t consider that work, but rather food for my heart and soul, something meaningful to do and to give. Ask me at the end of August whether or not it still was hard work
• me and my wife spent another week in “our” little remote village in the Southern Crete. An absolutely relaxing and nourishing time. I again enjoyed observing locals, men as well as women, with their dignity, inner peace, and utter absence of the frantic need to hurry and speed towards some ridiculous goals of modern times. I always find this very inspiring; helps me remind myself that life is not just work, work, work. And I also celebrate the amount of swimming I did on Crete – I am really proud of that, people, please give me some pat on the back, I need acknowledgement…
• While on Crete I finally had time to read two truly excellent books that gave me a lot of insight into the nature of life as well as into the nature of us, human species.  Both definitely belong among the most important books I have read in past five years and I highly recommend them.
  • Ken Wilber: A Brief History of Everything
  • Ronald Wright: A Short History of Progress

• And last but not least; the final decision has been made on writing a book so from tomorrow I am more or less unplugged from life for the next three weeks. The idea is to complete the rough version of the book before the end of the months so that when the work starts in August there will be only polishing left to do. I hope we (I am writing it together with my wife) are not being overoptimistic.

I have noticed that despite having over 20 themes on my list that I would love to write about on my blog, the focus of my mind and the passion of my heart has already been in the book for a couple of weeks, hence no new posts. And I guess July will be more or less dry in regards to my blogging.

But, hey, people, there’s so much more fun things to do in Summer then to read my ramblings, so get away from computers!

…and after two months cast again…

Two months has passed since my last, “final” post and I decided to sort of come back. I noticed that there were themes that keep popping up in my life and that I would have loved to share here. And I also started to miss you, guys.

On the other hand, I still want to enjoy life away from computer as much as possible, especially since I have actually started to materialize many of the goals set in this regards. So I don’t plan to write a lot, just when moved by something very alive inside of me. And if there are people that find that interesting and meaningful, it is going to be just beautiful, isn’t it? But apart from that, I will try to not sink back too deeply into the blogging world. Even more so since I, together with my wife, set out to write a book which will demand quite some time and discipline.

During the last week I was thinking a lot about comments that you guys were contributing here. On the one hand every comment is always great, a sign that somebody out there found my writing meaningful enough to pause a bit and connect, respond… And all the appreciations, support, good thoughts, acknowledgements… – it is always such a warm feeling to read them. Helps me feel accepted and heard.

On the other hand, I would love to read more about your perceptions, your experiences, your stories, your thoughts.. And if they are different than mine, if you disagree and see the life differently – I WILL LOVE IT! It will enrichen us all, help us make another tiny step out of our limited personal perceptions and grasp more of the richness and diversity… So, please, don’t comment just when you agree and feel supportive, but even more when you are seeing and experiencing another picture.

The die has been cast

I took about a week to see how the idea of ending this blogging episode feels. And it primarily feels good. But it also feels sad.

It feels good because now I suddenly had this extra hour or so per day on average and I managed to use it; not to work more but to enjoy life more – spent more time with my kids, with my wife, out in the nature, resting and sleeping… And I like it. This is how I want to proceed – less computer, less virtuality, more “reality”, more direct interactions, more rest, meditation, nature… So I guess the answer is clear, however difficult it may be to write it down: I am wrapping up this blog. I will still leave it open for some time, as long as visitors keep coming and comments keep appearing.

And it also feels sad, since I really loved creatively expressing what was alive in me and, above all, connecting with all you beautiful people out there. It truly enriched my life. Those of you who often commented here and did let me know where you were from; I will definitely drop you an e-mail in case I come to your part of the world and perhaps we can go for a coffee or so. And give each other a big fat hug. Some of you I already feel as good personal friends.

Here goes the parting haiku:

While the sun is setting

I end my blog.

Everything is peaceful.