The inner life of an insect

I was minding my own business, reading a book on a chair in front of our van, someplace high in the wilderness of the mountains of mainland Greece, no humans kilometres around (except my wife), yet I felt like being downtown NYC. There were tones of insects flying everywhere around the place. It actually sounded like JFK or Narita airport.

Fast flies, slow bugs, big bumblebees and tiny little speedy wasps, deep sounds and high pitches, flying experts and very clumsy ones, those passing in a hurry and a straight line and those sort of strolling around, not sure where to go next…

I mean, what goes on in their minds? Hang on, minds of insects? Well, whatever. There must be a decision making process someplace there. Say a bug flies slowly in a straight line towards the bright future and suddenly drops two metres, then it continues another ten metres in the straight line, then turns sharply right, continues a bit further only to make a u-turn, does some more soaring in this new direction and suddenly lands on a rock. Why all these changes? How does it come to these resolutions? There must be some sort of algorithm going on there?

Or, just yesterday in the evening, as I was sitting inside our van, a huge fly with a lightning speed entered through the side door, made one circle and exited through the same door, to disappear into the sunset. It was less that a one second event, I swear. So, what was going on inside this fly? Seeing a big red van with an open side door somewhere ahead, deciding that it could be worth checking out if there’s any shit worth eating up lying on the floor, entering with full throttle and then in less than a second deciding: “Nah, boring stuff, nothing really, just this stupid human sitting and staring at me, I guess I’ll just leave” and zooming out.

C’mmon, in one second? I would love to be able to make such quick decisions. To scan all the data, process it, decide and make a step.

Hey, has anybody ever try to study the  inner world of insects? Like follow one throughout the day, try to find a pattern there? You know, like following a fly from early in the morning. Like follow her with a camera, when she (let’s just say she is female, OK?) wakes up, does some stretching, licks up her legs a bit (ever noticed flies do that all the time?), flies for three minutes in circles, then sits on the armchair, does some more leg-licking, then flies to the bookshelf…

Do you think I should go and find something useful to do?

A request to our leaders

I want to remind you that one day in the future, perhaps in a few decades or perhaps in a few days, who knows, you will be lying on your death bed. And, as they say, it is likely that your life will be flashing in front of your eyes. There will be images of the things you will regret, and of the things you will feel joyful and grateful about. You will remember things that brought meaning into your existence as well as the things that brought pain and sadness. For some things you will wish you had done more of, and for others you will wish you had found strength to restrain from. We all will face this moment and I believe that we all hope our hearts will be filled with content and joy rather than regret and guilt.

Now, our dear leaders, after Copenhagen, after Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Ethiopia, Darfur, Tibet, Myanmar…, after observing and experiencing the state of the humanity nowadays and throughout the history, I have a request and I strongly believe that should you choose to comply with it, this is going to be one of the things you will feel good about when recapitulating your life during your last hours.

It is a series of steps and I believe it can all be done within 24 hours. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?

1. Please have a look around yourself and find people who are full of enthusiasm about changing the world and making it a better place. Look for the new type of people, those who eagerly want to find new ways. Because, as you will probably agree, the old rat-race ways of trying to get to the top and have power over other people just do not work. It is so easy to see that, isn’t it? These old ways serve only some people, a very small percentage really. When you find these spirited, motivated, idealistic and enthusiastic people (they are all around, you see, in NGOs, in activist movements…), give them power, make them leaders so that they can work before they get spoiled.
2. Have another look around and look for people who have compassion for everybody, whose heart is in pain about the billions suffering, about 30.000 children dying every day, about the destruction of Nature… Find those who have enough compassion in their hearts to be genuine servant leaders, you know, leaders who know that their one and only mission is to serve people, to take care of others and not of their pockets and egotistic desires. When you find them (look in humanitarian movements, seek people who work for free, who have devoted their lives to helping and giving…), make them leaders, give them power.
3. Then go home and spend the night with yourself. Think about what is it you want to be proud of in your life. Think about what you want your life to be about. Think about what you want to tell your grandchildren when they ask you how you had contributed to the well-being of this planet and to the beauty of lives around you.
   Then let it all out. Cry your heart out, let yourself mourn over the fact that you have failed to be as good leader as you hoped you would be. Get all the sadness out, it’s all right, it’s all right…
   In the morning take a shower, have a healthy breakfast, dress up nicely – this is going to be a big day. At the first glance it may seem like a failure, but don’t worry, the history of humanity will praise you for that. Grieve not, because this is going to be a big contribution, remember? You will help this world become more beautiful and you will be proud of it. You will help humanity make a step to the higher level of coexistence. Now take a long walk to your office, to your Tower of Power. Don’t forget to smile and breathe, smile and breathe.

   When you walk in, hand your letter of resignation – you know where to put it, right?

   Now walk out, smile and breathe, and, please don’t forget, you have done a beautiful thing, you have contributed to the beauty of life on Earth. And there is going to be so much gratitude.

Monica, Angelina, Brad and George

OK, finally some time to catch my breath. I am not complaining over the speed of my life in the last few weeks, but I really started to desperately need somebody press the pause button:

• first there was a one-week NVC training in Greece. I can hear you going: “Oh, bastard, I hope he is not going to complain how hard THAT was”. No, absolutely not, I am not going to complain, since it was truly fulfilling, all this swimming in the ocean of genuine connection with myself and with people around me, discovering new worlds within and devouring the beautiful environment, human as well as just simply sun, sea and Greece around. But it was intense, nevertheless.
• immediately upon our return we both dived into a week of leading trainings every day, with loads of work that needed to be done in between.
• in addition to that my blogging mate from down under, Razz and his wife Engogirl dropped by and stayed with us during that week – which meant a lot of inspirational sharing, eating and drinking (Razz is a hell of a cook so I urge you to invite them to your home). He can also teach your kids about photography, his wife will teach them mathematics and engineering, they will do gardening…, what can I say, another cool guests to have in the house.
• in the midst of it all we needed to pack again and off we flew for a week in Norway, to give a nonviolent conflict resolution training (me) and an intercultural skills training (Marjeta) in this inspirational college where we like to go so much.

Anyway, here I am, in this wet and windy Norway, just back from a long run, feeling how my system is slowly calming down and getting ready to start with the workshop tomorrow, with blissful silence and serenity of nature all around.

And in this process of slowing down I sort of remembered that I am actually writing a blog and that it has been getting pretty dusty and rusty, with me not finding time to post things regularly. Which led me to recall how the other day Razz was sharing his weird experience with the flow of visits on his blog. And than this lead me to remember another blogger Hayden, who told me that her blog got enormous amounts of visitors when she once posted a photo of Monica Bellucci. You know, the search engines thing – people searching for naked photos of Monica…

And this thought got my dirty mind going.

In a weird direction.

Toward the dark side of the Force.

And out came a plan, a vicious plan indeed.

So, let me show you some photos. Firstly may I introduce you to the gorgeous and sexy yet not naked Monica Bellucci (notice how smart the wording in this sentence is?)

And here is the photo of equally gorgeous and sexy yet not naked Angelina Jolie.

To be attentive to the female population as well, here comes a photo of the handsome and sexy yet not naked Brad Pitt (I will never understand why some women tend to deny this that he is really cool)

And, last but not least, here comes handsome and sexy yet not naked George Clooney (some of you may remember I have a special connection with him, others will understand too if they only care to dig deep into the comments in this post of mine)

So, let’s see if this shakes the rust and dust off my blog. 

And for all those innocent souls that stepped right into my diabolic trap; this is a nice personal blog, you see, so why don’t you sit back and relax, have a cup of tea, feel at home and click around a bit. You may even find it enjoyable.

The die has been cast

I took about a week to see how the idea of ending this blogging episode feels. And it primarily feels good. But it also feels sad.

It feels good because now I suddenly had this extra hour or so per day on average and I managed to use it; not to work more but to enjoy life more – spent more time with my kids, with my wife, out in the nature, resting and sleeping… And I like it. This is how I want to proceed – less computer, less virtuality, more “reality”, more direct interactions, more rest, meditation, nature… So I guess the answer is clear, however difficult it may be to write it down: I am wrapping up this blog. I will still leave it open for some time, as long as visitors keep coming and comments keep appearing.

And it also feels sad, since I really loved creatively expressing what was alive in me and, above all, connecting with all you beautiful people out there. It truly enriched my life. Those of you who often commented here and did let me know where you were from; I will definitely drop you an e-mail in case I come to your part of the world and perhaps we can go for a coffee or so. And give each other a big fat hug. Some of you I already feel as good personal friends.

Here goes the parting haiku:

While the sun is setting

I end my blog.

Everything is peaceful.

Am I nuts or what

It was absolutely amazing. I was lying in the bed and could not hear anything, not a single sound. Nothing, an absolute absence of sound. And it was like this every evening, every single evening of the last week. I have spent the last week in Norway, leading a couple of workshops in the bellowed RCNUWC College where I like to work so much. It seems that every year I enjoy yet another aspects of this beautiful environment – be it its multicultural diversity, be it the enthusiasm and the brilliant intelligence of the students, or the sense of remoteness, or the wisdom that some students demonstrate at such an early age, or the sense of a community…

Well, this time it was just the simple nature. The shock of the clear air and complete serenity each time I stepped out of a building. Billions of stars on the entirely dark sky overhead, with no light pollution whatsoever. The water, the mountains, all these magical elements that I have been feeling already so disconnected from, now completely present, powerful, tranquil… And the silence, oh boy, what a silence. Not any different then the one in the desert, really. No cars. No planes. No sirens. No drunk parties screaming hysterically. No background city buzz. Absolutely nothing.

My friends, as beautiful as it was, it actually got me feeling a bit sad and restless. What on earth am I living in a city centre for? Ok, there are some handy aspects of that – I can walk around the city, to the cinema, to the café, to the theatre… And… Hm… Well, I guess there are other things too… And it is not the worst situation, you see, we actually do have a bit of a green space around the house, and the traffic from the streets is not too bad out of the rush hours, and on Sundays it can be even enjoyable to sit outside. Or really late at nights, have a fire going in the yard and enjoy – trying not to let the occasional maniac drivers and the screaming tires of their cars ruin the feeling completely…

I mean, it is really not that bad. But, sitting on the Oslo airport now, with my lungs still full of oxygen and my skull still filled with the silence and images of tranquillity of this lovely little remote fjord, I feel I have been completely wasting my life over there in the city. This is not what a human life is supposed to be like. Disconnected from nature, from its fundamental elements, trying to survive the day-and-night ongoing bombardments with noise, pollution…

On the other hand, I know that if I announce that we are moving out of the city into the wilderness, I will dramatically shorten my life span since my three teenagers will poison me in a matter of day or two.

So I guess I’ll just have to wait for a bit. If the world holds on for long enough.

Having cool visitors is cool

So the first visiting party from abroad (out of the three in this month or so) have been here for a week now and, apart from the joy of talking and sharing our lives with dear friends, I came to learn about the other very positive effects cool visitors do have on my well-being:

• since they are not the sort of visitors that would just sit and wait to be served, they have already integrated in our family life, in a natural, relaxed way. Meaning that my life continues normally, they are around the house, they go and come back, and when we bump into each other we chat a bit, decide what to do together and what to do on our own… And it feels like a bigger family, a community of a sort. And I love this feeling.
• having them here inspires me, despite the rather busy days I am having, to focus on doing more of simple yet enjoyable stuff. For instance a glass of wine with the lunch, a ritualistic gathering and sharing with the water pipe…
• being a part of the community they do stuff around the house – cook, do the dishes… With my wife still being away this contributes considerably to the quality of food. We still haven’t finished the pizzas from the fridge, let alone ordered any. Perhaps kids are not too enthusiastic about that fact…
• with taking them here and there I get to be outside more, walk more than I would normally do this week. I even got to see yet another sunset (did not have my camera with me so this is taken by my phone, hence the quality is barely appropriate).

So, visitors, please come and help me meet my need for community, help me eat regular meals and good food, help me enjoy life more and please do drag me out of the house. And do the dishes.

A perfect morning

This is what I call a perfect morning. I wake up beside the most beautiful woman, who turns out to even be married to me. We move out of our camper van to enjoy the tranquillity of the nature and the first warm sunrays. While my wife does her morning yoga routine next to me at the shore, I sit on the stool, sip my warm tea and observe the calm, motionless sea and seagulls flying around.

And then…

…then the dolphins start jumping out of the water about 50 metres away, just in front of us, and give us a 20 minute group show of cheerfulness and joy. What a honour, what a blessing.