The new paradigm for the Innermost

I have already written about the amorphousness of our inner worlds, or our inner selves, and about how we actually shape our inner realms by our attempts to understand them with our minds, and in order to communicate ourselves across to other individuals. Yet our inner being is shapeless in its essence, magnificently shapeless.

And just the other day, having listened to an interview with Hank Wesselman, I came to a deeper understanding of the matter. Namely, it seems that we don’t shape our inner realms just arbitrarily, but rather squeeze them into whatever paradigms we have available, and so it is by no means a coincidence how we perceive our own spirituality, for instance.

In the late Stone Age people were living in simple communities as hunters and gatherers, with simple social systems and they were dependant on their direct link with the nature. Thus they perceived innermost realms of Life – let’s call it spirituality – through the paradigm of their direct interaction with the Mother Earth, with the spirits of the nature… And when in that period rather suddenly art exploded all over the planet at approximately the same time, it was representing exactly that: the connection with the natural world, with natural spirits…

When with the invention of plough and agriculture permanent villages and towns started to emerge, followed by city states of Babylon, Sumerians, Egypt…, human state-level societies became heavily stratified with power concentrated at the top and used to suppress masses at the bottom. Human perception of the spiritual realms followed by shaping them into the complex and well organized religions of polytheistic gods, with higher and lower gods and their own troubled relationships…

With the societies gradually strengthening the power and the control on the top, soon monotheistic religions emerged and with the sword swallowed all the rest. The one-and-only god at the top, while all other spirits and gods were thrown out. Nature became demonized and had to be overpowered and mastered by humans. Spontaneity, natural flow, open connection, ease and freedom…, all soon perceived as dangerous and to be put under control.

Now it seems we have been trying to re-shape our spirituality for the last 50 years or so. With the notion of equality, human rights, democracy, freedom awakening in our societies, the so-called New Age movement started to emerge, seeking the truth inside of us, through the direct experience, openness, and inner liberation. It is easy to understand why this all is so threatening to the control-ridden monotheistic religions of the present. Of course, in these first attempts of New Age movements, very often old elements were dragged along, like the omni-wise guru at the top and well organized spiritual societies below, with loads of misuse of power… Re-shaping paradigms is not the easiest job in the world.

And now, with the globalisation and the internet, the notion of instantly directly connecting to each other and to the source of information becomes prevailing, speeding up the process of throwing away the old models of spirituality. It is becoming clear that we don’t really need priests and gurus and all the old deontological approaches, but that a person can become his or her own guru and priest, by exploring, through direct experience, inner realms, thus making steps, here and now, on the path of spiritual awakening. The awareness seems to be rising globally that the wisdom, the meaning and all the answers are within us and accessible through direct experience, through opening up to the Life within.

And, honestly, I am so much celebrating this as well as the fact that my work has been, all along the way, precisely about this. Especially this last step I have made by offering Evoking Life retreats, which are about, well, profoundly evoking life within and letting it fully manifest itself.

 

A request to our leaders

I want to remind you that one day in the future, perhaps in a few decades or perhaps in a few days, who knows, you will be lying on your death bed. And, as they say, it is likely that your life will be flashing in front of your eyes. There will be images of the things you will regret, and of the things you will feel joyful and grateful about. You will remember things that brought meaning into your existence as well as the things that brought pain and sadness. For some things you will wish you had done more of, and for others you will wish you had found strength to restrain from. We all will face this moment and I believe that we all hope our hearts will be filled with content and joy rather than regret and guilt.

Now, our dear leaders, after Copenhagen, after Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Ethiopia, Darfur, Tibet, Myanmar…, after observing and experiencing the state of the humanity nowadays and throughout the history, I have a request and I strongly believe that should you choose to comply with it, this is going to be one of the things you will feel good about when recapitulating your life during your last hours.

It is a series of steps and I believe it can all be done within 24 hours. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?

1. Please have a look around yourself and find people who are full of enthusiasm about changing the world and making it a better place. Look for the new type of people, those who eagerly want to find new ways. Because, as you will probably agree, the old rat-race ways of trying to get to the top and have power over other people just do not work. It is so easy to see that, isn’t it? These old ways serve only some people, a very small percentage really. When you find these spirited, motivated, idealistic and enthusiastic people (they are all around, you see, in NGOs, in activist movements…), give them power, make them leaders so that they can work before they get spoiled.
2. Have another look around and look for people who have compassion for everybody, whose heart is in pain about the billions suffering, about 30.000 children dying every day, about the destruction of Nature… Find those who have enough compassion in their hearts to be genuine servant leaders, you know, leaders who know that their one and only mission is to serve people, to take care of others and not of their pockets and egotistic desires. When you find them (look in humanitarian movements, seek people who work for free, who have devoted their lives to helping and giving…), make them leaders, give them power.
3. Then go home and spend the night with yourself. Think about what is it you want to be proud of in your life. Think about what you want your life to be about. Think about what you want to tell your grandchildren when they ask you how you had contributed to the well-being of this planet and to the beauty of lives around you.
   Then let it all out. Cry your heart out, let yourself mourn over the fact that you have failed to be as good leader as you hoped you would be. Get all the sadness out, it’s all right, it’s all right…
   In the morning take a shower, have a healthy breakfast, dress up nicely – this is going to be a big day. At the first glance it may seem like a failure, but don’t worry, the history of humanity will praise you for that. Grieve not, because this is going to be a big contribution, remember? You will help this world become more beautiful and you will be proud of it. You will help humanity make a step to the higher level of coexistence. Now take a long walk to your office, to your Tower of Power. Don’t forget to smile and breathe, smile and breathe.

   When you walk in, hand your letter of resignation – you know where to put it, right?

   Now walk out, smile and breathe, and, please don’t forget, you have done a beautiful thing, you have contributed to the beauty of life on Earth. And there is going to be so much gratitude.

A different kind of a communication training

My wife went to a high-profile communication trainer’s presentation, out of curiosity, to see what other people emphasise about communication and how they do it. She came home in a state of shock. This guy – the communication expert – was preaching that communication was a war, a struggle and that it was all about being better and stronger than the other one, that it was all about getting to a higher ground, having power over the other in order to finally crush them down. And win the battle. While preaching this, he was, with his superior rhetoric abilities, humiliating people in audience who dared to ask questions, making fun out of people not present, using the losers – winners distinction all the time… He was the absolute winner, of course.

When my wife described the scene to me, I was in a state of shock too. Wait a minute; this is what this communication trainer is teaching? That it is all about fighting, winning over, crushing down? I understand communication as coming together, you know, the communion, connecting, achieving understanding and then working together on finding the ways for meeting everybody’s needs, for cooperation and coexistence… And, pardon me; this is what I teach at my communication trainings.

Up to now I was living in a romantic world, I can see. I believed that every communication trainer saw communication, more or less, in the very similar way: connecting, getting together, and achieving understanding. I believed every conflict-resolution trainer perceived conflict resolution within a basic framework: achieving true understanding and respect of each other’s needs and values, then working together on finding strategies that will meet everybody’s needs. I believed we lived in the same world. How naive, how very naive of me.

I will continue teaching what I believe communication is all about, of course. But I will be less surprised when observing political arena in which everybody speaks and nobody ever listens. Because I will know that they have been taught, by their high class communication trainers, to attack, to humiliate, to make fun out of… They were trained to not listen, to not understand, to not move and to not be influenced. They were trained to fight and to win over.

I will understand that they are just being good students.

And then I will continue my fight with the windmills.

May you always be courageous, stand up right and be strong

I admit – in the last 8 years I was not only very critical of the U.S. politics and it’s ways of behaving in this world, but also sometimes had difficulties to distinguish between the politics and the people. On occasions I felt so frustrated while observing the attitude and the values of the US politics – which were directly opposite to my personal values for mutual respect, nonviolence, fairness and responsibility – that I generalized my critical thoughts all over the American people. I admit and this is not something I am proud of.

But today, when learning about Obama being elected and when watching his acceptance speech, I was crying a lot and felt so happy that you guys have elected this person. I love you all and I am grateful for what you did.

Why am I happy about Obama being elected? Well, I do like his thoughts, words, values and energy in general, but there in one thing in particular that seems to be the most important for me: I sense that Barack Obama sees his role of the president as a responsibility to serve people. He seems to be a genuine servant leader and this is what I find absolutely crucial.

Sometimes when I work with politicians I find it so damn difficult to get this idea across, the idea that they are here to serve people (And if they don’t like this, they may as well go home and stop making mess). Their inner reaction tends to be: “No no, I am on the top now and others need to serve me.” They only too often perceive their position of a leader as their chance to tear apart and divide the prey they have finally laid their hands on. For them being a leader means a sort of a competition, who will get to the top, who will win over others, who will be the first.

Now, I don’t believe this is what the true leadership is all about. I believe it is about responsibility, about a call, about a sacrifice, about serving. It is a burden actually, not a prize.

So, I believe Barack Obama is a servant leader and he is a leader I would love to be led by. To be honest, Americans, for the first time in my life in envy you; you have a leader I would love to have.

Yet, I am also fearful. I question myself how much can one person really do in this world that seems to be ruled by the invisible elites and the international clusters of financial power that keep generating far too powerful interests for any individual to fight. This fears and scepticism within me only got increased after having seen the documentary Zeitgeist – The Movie – which I strongly recommend to everybody. It will make you a bit depressive too, but I believe one needs to keep facing various aspects of reality, not only the pink ones, even if they make us unhappy sometimes.

But, despite my own feelings of disillusionment, I am aware that on the other hand there were great people like Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Dalai Lama, that indeed did initiate big changes. So, if one’s spirit, wisdom, values and persistence are strong enough, nothing can stop him. If he manages to live long enough.

So, dear Obama, may you live long…

Two questions for the U.S. nationals

Amber’s posts about religion and about primaries and the responses got me thinking about what actually makes the rest of the world, or at least Europeans, a bit irritated by the US nationals. Is it really just the words and the actions of Mr. Bush and his aggressive foreign politics? Because many countries have led (and/or still do) aggressive foreign politics, yet the world seems to be generally able to distinguish between the politics and the inhabitants of these countries. At least to a fairly larger extent than in the case of the US. It seemed to me there was something else as well.

And than, while reading a discussion forum on the CNN website about the U.S. primaries, it dawned on me what could be the cause of this subtle and on-going rejection. Many post that were written by the U.S. citizens were full of statements about America’s superior military might, America’s rightful leadership in the global war against terrorism, America being the world’s greatest country, Americans being the greatest nation on Earth… And I remembered I have heard statements like these so many times from the U.S. citizens in the past. And I cannot remember hearing citizens of any other country speaking this language so often.

To me this sounds like having a neighbour who would sing to himself all the time: »I am the best, I am the strongest, I am supreme, my house is the best, my car is the best, my wife is the most beautiful, I am the smartest…« And whenever he would come for a visit he would keep singing this song. I don’t think this neighbour would be very popular on his block. Not because whether he was the best or not, but because of his values.

I guess hearing this over and over again may sound to many non-Americans as if Americans do not want to live along with the rest of us, but to compete, to be better, to win over, to have power over…

Now, I know I am generalizing here a lot and that I am probably mistaken in very many ways. But I still do have a couple of questions for the U.S. nationals, if you feel like answering:

Is being the greatest nation on Earth, the world’s greatest country, really an important concept in your society or am I just being mistaken?

If it indeed is an important concept in your society, why do you think it is important?